snowman-sm

Cold days, Warm Hearts on Thanksgiving

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It’s cold here in Colorado. But it’s bearable because the sun is shining. It’s bearable because the sky is blue. It’s bearable because Thanksgiving is this week.

Lovely snowman found on the sidewalk in Estes Park, Colorado - Nov 2013

What is Thanksgiving about? I think it’s about friends checking in on each other. Families connecting. Cooking food. Making memories.

It’s not about shopping, hoarding, crowds, spending and traffic.

Call me old-fashioned but I like watching the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV. This year I plan to watch the Chicago’s 80th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade. Lots of real fun floats, bands, people and it’s closer to home.

What are your plans? If you don’t have family or friends nearby and you live in Northern Colorado, let me know and we can get together, eat turkey and make new memories!

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A job hunting I will go…

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Job Hunt

Did I tell you I was job hunting? Did I mention how much fun it is?

No? Well, that’s because it isn’t. When I admitted to a friend that I was struggling with this she told me a new Panera Bakery is opening down the street from her. I think that was her idea of a pep talk.

Network Support

There are networks to join that offer support, suggestions, interviewing tips, ways to stay focused, and networking ideas. NoCoNet in Fort Collins meets weekly and has amazing speakers, members and support.

There are websites that give examples of cover letters, resumes and follow-up thank you notes. Or you can just search for ‘cover letter’ and see if someone’s actual cover letter pops up.

There are sites that help you with the interview process and give some behavioral interview questions to review before the meeting. Questions such as “Tell me about a time you worked with a difficult co-worker or client and how you resolved your issues” or “Tell me about a time you had to take initiative and the outcome. “ These questions are great if you’ve prepared for them but if not, you can sit there and sift through all your jobs, decide on which was the best example, then try to structure your answer and … well, by this time the next interviewee is at the door ready to come in and take your seat.

LinkedIn/ Online Job Search

There is LinkedIn.com to post your career, education, background and experiences but remember to align them to your resume.  Any potential employer will go to your LinkedIn profile before you even sit in the chair – count on that fact.

Job search sites such as Indeed.com, HigherEdJobs.com, and SimplyJobs.com will dangle some tidbits out there for the whole world to apply. By the time anyone can get down to my resume they are cranky, critical and burned out.  They are mad that they had to review over 200 applications only to find out that the one they are looking for (mine) is missing one measly item and they decide to TOSS it into the pail with the others.

Wait a second! Don’t they want to know that I am a people person with amazing communication skills? I can tell them about a time when I took initiative and the outcome of it. I can show my training techniques, writing samples and graphic skills.

In this day and age of electronic applications and submissions it’s almost impossible to get across the desk from you. But… we can change that, right?

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The Penultimate Month

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November is the penultimate month. It’s stuck there, second from last, dangling like a broken wing waiting to be loved, hugged instead of snubbed and forgotten.

It’s needy. Wanting to be important but mostly being ignored. It’s a placeholder for the other months, keeping things lined up but wiaspen tree with eyes looking through Novemberth no real purpose.  The goal is to get through November so we can get to the other side.

We bundle up, wrap up, rake up and shore up … and flip calendar pages – feeling amazed to be 11 months gone. What have we achieved? How did time slip by?

Is there some way to skip November? Just hop on to December and move towards a new year?

Or maybe we turn November into an event. Dress it up, deck it out, get it fit, light it up, and make it special. We walk it, stroke it, stoke it and make it POP!

Instead of drowning in dullness, perhaps we light up the month up with leaves, pile them high and let art come forth.

We can turn ‘penultimate’ into the hottest month of the year. Add some color, glitter, sparkle and spotlights and we’ve got something special – right here, right now.

Right?

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Holding Time Accountable

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I like to walk and have made it a point to take a walk outside everyday for the past month. In addition, I jot down where I walked and other notes (how I was feeling,  the view, the weather) on my Google calendar. Now when I look back over the month, I remember those walks as if I were right back there.

The act of writing down this information is a method of holding time accountable. It’s a simple technique that helps bridge the past with the present. The ability to remember events, conversations and activities are easier when they have been recorded.

??????????????????????????????? This past week, in the middle of a cool, crisp, sunny day, I ventured on a new trail. It was right there on the side of the road, so I HAD to check it out. The signage informed me the trial led up and over a ridge so I could see Horsetooth Reservoir but I never made it that far. Instead I walked for about an hour and was enjoying the breeze and the wide open skies and getting to the top of the ridge, until I was rudely interrupted by the distinct sound of a rattle.  I didn’t wait to see the perturbed snake and immediately reversed course and headed back.  My return walk had a bit more pep as the adrenaline kicked in and my path was mostly downhill. Once I left the scene of the rattlesnake, I didn’t feel threatened but I was more focused on what was on my path instead of the view above me.

Having shared my daily walking goals on this blog for the whole world (yes, the whole WORLD) to read is a good incentive for me to keep on keeping on.  The walks help me feel connected in a way that has been missing. And being outside is balm for my soul.

Sending hugs to one and all — MargeKatherine

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Flashbulb Memories?

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Flashbulb Memories

Have you heard the term Flashbulb Memory (FM)? It’s that moment in time when some traumatic event happened that touched your soul and moved your world. You can remember where you were, what you were doing, who you were with … and as you relive the event in your mind, it’s like you are right back there in that time and space.

What makes these events so memorable is the unusual intersection of the personal and the public, so that what becomes salient for you is actually learning about the event, in addition to the facts of it,” says cognitive psychologist William Hirst, PhD, a flashbulb memory researcher at the New School for Social Research.

The idea of flashbulb memory was first proposed in 1977 by psychologists Roger Brown, PhD, and James Kulik, PhD, who posited that these memories are so emotionally important to us that they’re laid down as vividly, completely and accurately as a photograph. But that idea remains hotly debated today. And each new public tragedy provides fodder for more research.

“Every time there’s a public trauma, psychologists run out in the street and capture people’s memories of what happened,” says Hirst. “They did it with the Challenger explosion. They did it with the death of Princess Diana… And we did it with 9/11.” (Law, B.M., September 2011. Seared in our memories. American Psychological Association.)

Dim Lighbulb Instead:

Well, I didn’t have one of those. In fact, there was no flashbulb or lightbulb on at all for this story.

What happened was this:  A week ago, I cleared my calendar and left Saturday wide open so I could attend a memorial ceremony for a friend who died earlier in the month. On the same day, I planned to attend a party to celebrate my longtime friend (35 year Colorado friend) who turned 60.

I attended a breakfast meeting that morning and then headed home.  It was an amazing day out – crisp air, falling leaves and blue skies. I decided to take a leisurely walk. I worked in the yard. It was truly beautiful outside.

Later in the day I attended a CSU Women’s Volleyball game and watched them win in front of a huge crowd. It was a fun, relaxing and laid-back day. A good day, really. Except…

On Tuesday night, my birthday friend left me a message saying she was sorry I didn’t make her party on Saturday.  Her party was on Saturday? So, if I missed her party, then I also missed the memorial service!  REALLY?  Two HUGE events and I spaced them BOTH out. UGH!

Ok. This was bad. Now everything goes on my calendar. If I want to do it – out comes the pen and the words are written in ink. I can put them on my online calendar but the act of writing helps make the event real. Also, I have a visual every time I look at the calendar.

Help me out here – tell me I’m not crazy. Has this happened to you before? Lie to me if you have to!

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Drops of water/ice on this gorgeous rose in Fort Collins, CO

Morning Walk: Snow, Breathe, Smile (for the camera)

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Walk to Remember

As you may know, I have been focusing on memory issues such as remembering, forgetting, mindfulness, and memory retention as a way to understand my actions lately. I’ve had a string of forgetting moments and last week was another doosey. I’ll post that one next time.

For now – I try to walk daily in new areas as a way to stay awake mentally and keep my brain from going into ‘zone mode.’

This morning, before the sun was up – I was in my yard with a rake knocking snow off bushes, trees, plants and hauling (with all my might) a huge branch that broke during the night.

After a hot cup of tea to warm me up … I patiently waited for the sun to come up so I could walk and take some photos. Now, as I write this at 4 pm the lawns are littered with gold, green and red leaves. The snow is almost all melted. The images I took this morning are all that’s left. Here’s my gift to you…Enjoy!

This gorgeous orange rose was just waiting for me to come along! Fort Collins Colorado

This gorgeous rose was just waiting for me to come along!

Love this pink flower against the backdrop of the evergreen background.

Love this pink flower against the backdrop of the evergreen background.

Acorn sitting in the mist of ivy and fallen leaves

Acorn sitting in the mist of ivy and fallen leaves

The trees have not yet dropped their leaves so the heavy wet snow can be brutal to the branches.

The trees have not yet dropped their leaves so the heavy wet snow can be brutal to the branches.

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Little boy uses ramp to help him bowl.

Mindless Things

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Sometimes I forget things.

I eat right, I exercise, I am healthy… and still I forget.

I don’t smoke, I have friends, I am active … and still I forget.

I do mindless things.  For instance, recently I took my grandson bowling. It was his first time and it was a blast. He ‘loved’ his shoes and he was able to 1) move the ramp and position it when it was his turn and 2) lift the 7lb bowling ball (the lightest weight they had). The child was glowing during the process. He just turned 5 years old and he was electric. There was no loud music, no remote controls, no tv screens and he was giddy with the newness of it all.

Little boy uses ramp to help him bowl. We bowled two games then called it quits. Off came the ‘really cool’ shoes and back on the shelves went the balls. The shoes were returned to the counter and we waved goodbye to the cashier who was setting up party tables.

Into the car seat he went — buckles, straps, chains, ropes … you know the drill. Then in my seat, buckled up and the thought popped into my mind as I was backing out of my parking space… What a fun time. What an affordable treat.  Then the big question …”Um, how much was that anyhow? “

Put on the brakes, pulled back into my parking space and did the whole routine in reverse. Opened the back door, off came the buckles, straps, chains, ropes for the grandson in the backseat and back into the bowling alley because I forgot to pay. We laughed about it as we re-entered the bowling lanes but it made me wonder where my mind was.

There is a term called ‘directed forgetting’ or DF.

It is when you hear some information and either are told to forget what you heard (a judge may say that during a trial) or decide not to remember something. When someone gives me directions I usually go into DF mode.  I tell myself I don’t have to remember because I will research it before I attempt the trip. I will use a map or GPS or both.

This event was not DF. It was just F. As in Forgetting? Or Failing to Remember? Freaking out? Who knows but it seems they happen more often and I learned that when I record them I remember them. Same things with dreams – write them down and when you read them later it’s like you’re right back there. Cool, huh?

Now, be truthful, do you ever think you are ‘losing it?’ Have you done some crazy things like I have and if so, how did you react? Did you laugh about it? Did you share what you did with someone? Did you shrug it off and forget it ever happened? Will you share it with me?

You know there will be more to come, right? It’s so nice to be back here writing to you again. Feel free to say hello!

—————

Metzger, M. (2011). Directed Forgetting: Differential Effects on Typical and Distinctive Faces. The Journal of General Psychology. 138(2), 155-168.

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